Vote for Small Businesses

For a handful of years now, small businesses in America have suffered from a slowing of the economy due to fiscal irresponsibility by big businesses.  The trickle-down effect has never been more poignant than it is today.  As a country based on money-flow, economics and the almighty dollar, the United States has forgotten the roots of its conception, Freedom.  We have replaced our value system with Greed.  For many, this is not a viable value to uphold.  

American freedom represents the right to vote for what we as individuals consider worthy, valuable and ethical to maintain a vibrant, growing society.   Because we have developed our nation into an economic machine, competing to see who can make the most money, and therefore hold the most power, the manner in which we spend our money is the real vote.

Large companies have little to no consideration for the individual.  Their purpose is to make money.  Corporations see employees as expendable, considering cost analysis and production the sole purpose for employment.   If someone or something can be more efficient and less costly, the employee will be replaced.

Small businesses, on the other hand, are often birthed by someone’s dream.  The purpose for many small businesses is to fulfill a passion, and to ensure that passion is subsidized by the business’ earnings.  A small business caters to its community and cares about its customers.  Interactions with clients become personal connections, and both parties benefit from this mutual relationship.

What will really help us as individuals in our current economic situation?  Develop a relationship with the businesses in your neighborhood.  Patronize local establishments instead of mega-corporations, even if it means paying a little more.  Remember, your money is your vote in which direction our country will run- will it be by concerned local citizens that know your community, or by the next Walmart that squelches out the beautiful array of independent businesses?  Your vote matters.

How To Make Things With Love

I had just made a big transition in my life, quitting my professional mental health position (which I had been involved in for 10 years) and now working the early morning shift at our local, quaint bakery, in Weaverville, NC. There were 3 of us there at 6am- Joshua, who managed all the bakers, Pinkey, (who, as the 'early morning' baker, arrived daily at 4am!) and myself, the "Front Girl".

Joshua and Pinkey were easy to love- so chipper in the early dark hours, singing to the "Carolina Furniture Concepts" radio commercials in unison, making jokes and having fun. I loved being around them- the joy they had was certainly contagious, and I got to pass that on to the early morning customers as they arrived for coffee.

I recall Pinkey's daily routine consisted of coming out from behind the swinging doors of the hot kitchen, kerchief on her head, apron covered in sugar and flour, smeared with egg. On her scrap of paper, she'd look at the glass front case at the cookie display and jot down what quantities needed to be made. I'd hand her a cup of cappuccino, her favorite, and she'd tell me about the 'little babies' that she'd made earlier- the muffins, the croissants, the coffee cake and cheese biscuits. She'd dote over the warm trays of goodies she presented to me, waving her hand over them protectively, wafting about the warm, lovely scent of baked wonders.

"The scones today are cranberry and walnut," she'd say with a smile and a little motherly pat above the scones. "The coffee cake turned out especially well this morning," she'd comment while I nodded. "Oh, and you tell the everyone that these rugelach cookies I made with love." I paused whenever she said that, which she often did when she referred to her products. Made with love? What did that mean? Of course I'd heard it before, "Made with Love!" but I'd never really thought about what that meant, until I saw Pinkey in action while she baked.

The girl would be singing, humming, dancing, cavorting, teasing and generally being in good spirits while she was in the kitchen. Her smile was as big as the sun, and her hands were beautiful- long fingers covered in dough that she'd been kneading and mixing, rolling and rationing. Pinkey completely threw herself into her baking: her hands were always touching and feeling the consistency of the dough, her mouth tasting a new icing recipe throughout the creative process, a little more this, a pinch more that, some nutmeg, and voila! A perfect croissant! A beautiful cheddar biscuit! A hint of ginger in the pumpkin bread? Yes, its even better than last time, Pinkey.

Her delight when I regaled her with stories of how people truly enjoyed and complimented her baking was always a favorite moment of mine. "I'm so glad that someone noticed how soft the oatmeal cookies were this time, and that they liked it," and her smile would liven up her eyes as she tucked away the mental notes.

What I learned from Pinkey, on how to make things with love, is that you must enjoy what it is you are doing. Play music, dance around, play while you're preparing and working on your task. When you enjoy what it is that you are doing, you pay attention to the little things, like tasting to ensure there is not too much salt in the mix, or turning the baking pan around mid-cycle in the oven to ensure even cooking. When you make something with love, your intention is to create something worthy- usually for another person, or group of people, like your family and friends. You delight in being able to offer your very best product, to have your loved one's eyes sparkle with anticipation for what you're about to bestow. You take the time to pay attention, to be thoughtful in each step (perhaps the potato pieces should be a bit smaller for fitting into my child's mouth when she takes a bite of this home-made soup), to rejoice in your task and smile as you go. You embellish your finished piece with final touches, because it requires a lovely presentation for all that love you put in there and are about to share with others.

The moment comes when its time to unveil your masterpiece: home-made chocolate chip cookies, still warm from the oven so that the chocolate melts when you break one open.

It is my hope that, as I become more thoughtful, I will be able to make each meal with love, instead of it being a required task. Perhaps one day, I may even be able to clean out the spiders in my basement with love. I'm still working on that one, Pinkey.

Business Relationships Matter

First impressions are vital, and to make your impression last, continue to court your customers with engaging novelties.  This can be developed by writing about your specialties, publicizing your community involvement and upcoming changes, and touting stories of your customers' appreciation in your advertising literature and social media.  

Ask for feedback from your customers.  Not only will this give you valuable information about your services and products, but it will also strengthen the connection that you have with your community.  When you listen to what your customers are saying about your business, you empower that customer, because you care about what they are saying.  When you empower someone, they are on your team, and will advocate for your business from their heart.  Both of you benefit from this trusting relationship. 

When you receive praise from someone about your business, ask them if you can use their words as a testimonial to your work.  Sincere words from your customers are powerful tools to help other potential clients find you and use you.  Post your accolades on your website and your marketing literature.  Ask customers to write in their own words the experience they have when they do business with you.  Let your customers know how valuable their feedback is to you, and that when they post reviews on the Internet (such as Google Reviews, and Angie’s List) these words will really help your business.

How to Be A Good Leader

Are you a manager of employees, or a parent of children?  Many of the same valuable strategies are used when people rely on you as their leader in any case.  Your followers, willing or not, are people for whom you are responsible.  Though you are not responsible for the individual choices of their actions, you are responsible for teaching, guiding and enabling each person to do their very best.

What is not instinctually set within us is taught to us firstly by example.  Leading by example has been our evolutionary pattern.   Babies start to mimic sounds and the facial expressions of their parents soon after birth.  So too does the leader of a company set the parameter of how to act when an employee first starts work.  You impress upon your followers (your children, your employees) which ethics are important, how to manage problems that arise, and you instill within them how valuable they are to you.   You may not even realize this exchange is occurring in the relationship.

Your role as a leader of another comes with certain universal expectations from that person (which they may not consciously recognize themselves that they expect).   These are for you to be consistent, clear and concrete with them.   

In action and manner, your consistency is a solid platform on which your ward may comfortably interact with you.   * When you are in a leadership role, people expect you to act within certain cultural boundaries.  You are giving the gift of comfort and ease when you act within what is ‘normal’.  *

Being clear in your communication is vital to maintaining efficiency within the relationship.

 Having concrete goals that are measurable, achievable and recognized will empower the person you wish to guide.

How others act matters so much less than how you respond to it.

Control- you see people seizing it as they can over others every day, and everywhere.  A mother and a child interact.  Mother squelches each query with: "Because I say so".  A manager has a battle of wills with employees as she micromanages her staff.   A leader pulls his sway, like a rug from beneath his people, causing unbalance and harm.  

Do you know what it is like to feel so out of control of a situation?  Do you involuntarily react to the pattern that has been established by your mother, your boss, your trusted leader.  Do you take this unwanted, out of control situation wholly upon yourself, and then throw yourself into the vile maelstrom, sometimes becoming a person that you really do not like being?

Here is good news for all of us: Our mindfulness can replace the patterns of our reactions.

Most people in our country have been conditioned by our culture that we should jump into action whenever there is an “emergency”.   Western medicine is top-notch in saving people’s lives that are on the brink of death.  We are a people of reacting rather than being mindful with pro-active thoughtfulness.  Mindfulness begins with recognizing that there is a challenge to overcome, a pattern to change, a direction to evolve.  How can you alter your behavior if you do not pin-point that which you wish to change?  

Consider next the manner you would like to use to respond to a nagging child, a bossy manager, a leader that takes advantage of his people.  Realize that their behavior patterns will not readily change, until they see you break the pattern.   Even then, some people’s patterns are so rooted within them and may never be what you consider ‘evolved’.  How others act matters so much less than how you respond to it.

Each new event in life is a paradigm- we set the stage for ritual, rules and patterns each time something shifts in our lives.  For example: You get a new job.  Did you get there early, late, on time?  If you were late, you may consciously shift your pattern to leave earlier from your home, or find an alternate route to take to your destination; or you may not choose to change, or even recognize there is a need to change something, and you set the pattern for arriving late daily.  Now you are labeled by your co-workers and stuck in this uncomfortable pattern.  The more people that confirm the pattern that you establish, and the more often/longer the pattern takes place, the more powerful it is, and the more difficult it will be to change.

Perhaps you’ve worked with someone that is overly sensitive, negative or aggressive.  Often the pattern that has been established is to ‘tippy-toe’ around that person’s inflammable nature, and you find yourself, (as do others who work there), walking on eggshells around them.   Take a moment to consider this situation.   What message do you and your co-workers give?  If you continue to ignore the problem and do not provide an alternative pattern, you are empowering the reactive person to continue to be reactive.

You have more power than you realize to change yourself and how you interact with your world.  You can propel yourself to become something even greater than you are right now.  Every moment is an opportunity- we are creatures of Free Will, and we do not need to be harnessed by our instincts, or our pattern of reactions.

Be a leader within yourself.  When you have inner control, you do not seek to take control from others.  You see the situation from a place of peace, of confidence, of reason.  It is then that you can empower others to learn, to change, to grow, to take accountability and rise up from that dark, miserable pattern.

Qi Gong in Asheville’s Botanical Gardens

It’s Monday morning, 9am and I find myself in the chilly shade of a large tree in Asheville’s Botanical Gardens for a group session of Qi Gong.  

Having personally never taken a class like this before, I did not know what to expect. 

The Botanical Gardens in Asheville are centrally located, public, beautiful, peaceful, open and PERFECT.   Being outside seems pivotal in fully experiencing the exchange of Qi Gong with more than simply the people engaged in the class.  All of Nature was there exchanging Qi with us, too.

Alison explained the meaning of Qi Gong- a valuable piece of information for someone who’s not experienced in the Chinese Way.  “Qi” is the ephemeral substance permeating all things (think of mist- you cannot capture it, but you can gently guide it).  “Gong” means masterful, skillful study.

 I love the guidance Alison gives to the class.  Her instruction was led through example and by visualization.  All of us circled around our leader, and though Alison had the sunlight in her eyes, it highlighted her movements for all of us to see. 

We shook and bounced ourselves awake as Alison shook, bounced and spoke to us about getting the Qi flowing in our bodies.  She was very purposeful in explaining the body's relation with the yin and yang- important information for anyone who doesn't have any clue about Chinese medicine. Equally thorough were her movements guiding us all to keep in mind all the lines and spots of our body, and it helped that she talked about each place out loud as we hovered over, spiraled, patted, flicked, etc. different parts.

The tree union at the end was my very favorite.  We experienced a guided, focused exchange between ourselves and a tree in the botanical garden.  Like each breath that we inhale and exhale, we can also give and receive with the greater force to which we are all connected.

I was so happy to have attended, I reached out to my neighbor and invited her to come with me next week and she will be coming with me and bringing another friend of her own. For $25, you can attend 4 sessions.  It’s an easy choice for me to make to start off my Monday mornings.