On Loss

A man loses his mate and children.  Where does his vengeance go if not upon himself or others?

Ask why he responds with anger, when it is truly that he is sad and mourns loss.

"It is not fair!" he responds.

And what, then, is fair?  Is it fair that no one should lose?  Is it fair that nothing should be taken?

"Yes!"

Then make it so.

See Not Scarcity, See Not Loss

See no fear, for there is no end
to what is real and not pretend.
Your love is real and true and good
their love for you, you understood.

Seize on that love, that knowledge pure
and let it guide you true and sure;
for through your loss and pain and changes,
your life and how it rearranges,
your wounds will heal, and when they do,
that's when Love will pour right through

And shine like a bright shiny beacon of Hope
for those feeling lost, brokenhearted and doped...

Raise their eyes with your stories
raise morale with your smile;
hold their broken heart in yours for a while.

And with your love, you'll help them mend
and lead the lost around the bend
to where the roses of love all bloom
perfumed memories in every room
of times you laughed and times you cried,
of the time when you got that bug in your eye-
and carefully, with love, I helped get it out
and kissed your cute nose when you started to pout.

Remember, dear, all the love you store,
for when you share it, love becomes more.

The Artists' Call

Lovers of life, artists of the heart:
move us with your expression,
stir us up and out of our complacency with the swell of your mood,
lead us to recognize that we are not alone in the struggles of our uniquely human pursuit.

Though there be pestilence of the body and rioting of the mind, there is yet enough beauty in this world for us to take pause, and in that quiet moment of reflection, stand within the doorway of remembering.

On Science and Religion

Fibonacci sequence

We are fascinated by patterns, transfixed by how things relate to each other in our world.  There are established standards that we all agree upon and are taught, these tools the touchstones by which we measure our experiences to project probabilities.

"Scientists need a new way to explain the universe"

Science has taken such an interest in recording, compiling and correlating all of the various nuances of anything that can be measured: from brain cell responses to sizes of galaxies to what Asian-American children under the age of four like to eat for breakfast.  The wonderful, exhausting and sometimes stultifying pursuits of discovery never seem to end.  The more that we learn, the more we have need to define, and not only that, the more we learn, the more we have need to redefine.

"Let's try this and see what happens," science says.  "How about if we move this here, and realign this with that and then see what happens."  Life is full of potential experiments, enough to keep us busy for eternity.

It is all very fun for scientists, I daresay as exciting for others as watching a race car on the track make that tight curve and wonder if it's going to crash or not.  We love to spectate and postulate and project and create all sorts of entertainment, studies and pursuits around this human feature.

Even before science, we have had religious paradigms given to us by leaders doling out what we should believe and how we should interact with the world.  Just as science has splintered into many factions, so goes the fractal of religions.  Who are the victims of this banter of beliefs?  Wars have been born.  People have been used.  Hearts have been broken.  Our environment suffers from the inside out.

It's all very confusing and unstable when you think about it, and so very frustrating because all we really do want is some answers.  Not just any answers, either; we want answers that will remain stable and unalterable.  We want something that we can stick to with certain knowledge so that our lives can be more easily navigable.  We want something that not only is reliable and constant for our own solidity, but we want this standard to be recognized by everyone else, too.  What we want is the truth.

How do we obtain the truth?  Our humanity's existence centers on this very concept. 

Discovering truth is a very personal journey.  It cannot be dictated or spoon-fed to you by anyone else.  Knowledge comes when you believe something inside of yourself to be true.

Do you believe that the knowledge of truth is only understood by those that are intelligent enough to figure it out?  Or that it will be withheld from humanity until we reach a certain evolution and ability to discover it?   Can real truth be that elusive?

All that you need to find truth is here for you, in this life, every single day.  Life is a metaphor, our paths parables, our stories a symphony of symbols all interlacing together beautifully for you to observe, enjoy and to use as a tool for deeper understanding.  Whenever you observe an interaction or relationship or pattern, know it is a gift given to you.   The key to unlocking knowledge lies in your own ability to relate to what you observe.  This takes conscious, focused meditation, pondering and thought.

volunteer squash

Here is a simple example of how you can use a daily experience as a meditation to discover truth:

I prepared a small patch of yard for a vegetable garden several weeks ago.  I turned and loosened the soil, weeded unwanted plants and added compost for nourishment.  After planting a few seedlings from the hardware store and watering them, I left the space alone.  It had been raining frequently enough that I had not needed to check much for a couple of weeks until today.  What I found surprised me: several plants had sprouted that I had not put there intentionally.  A few of them were grasses and other non-edibles, but there were also a bunch of other curious starts that, as I really looked at them, were baby tomato plants, and snap beans and squash of some sort.  I'd only planted 3 watermelon and 2 zucchini seedlings here.

What did I make of this?  There are a few ways you can react to such observations:

1. OMG, look at all the weeds and work I have to do!  All these unwanted plants growing... ugh.  And now, if I want to keep any of these other new plants, I have to move them all around so they aren't competing with each other...
2. Well logically, the composting process was inefficient as it did not kill all the seeds that had been placed in it.  
3. How very surprising and abundant is my garden this year!

Yes, all of these things are truths, however, when you take a moment to go beyond your reaction and look at this as a metaphor or as a parable or a proverb, you will see yet another layer of truth.  This underlying truth is applicable throughout time.

Metaphor: In preparing for your crops (fruits of your labor), consciously plot your space (prepare with a plan),  space your seedlings (your hopes, dreams, aspirations) in such a way as they will have room to grow, nourish your space with energy collected and composted from the past (wisdom). Tend with love and care: keep paying attention- there will always be weeds to pull and pests to rid (challenges of all sorts).  Reap what you sow- as much effort as you place into your garden, you will be rewarded equally by its abundance.  Put forth your best effort and you will be richly rewarded.

Parable: A woman prepares her garden.   She loosens the soil in the space she has set specifically aside, and adds composted nourishment that she has specifically prepared for this garden.  She plants 5 specific seedlings.  When the sun shines and the rains comes, the plants begin to grow.  The woman goes back to check on her growing garden to discover there are many more than the 5 seedlings that she planted.  She had prepared the soil well enough to support hidden potential.

Proverb: Seeds from the past may benefit or hinder you in the future.

Though we hear truths in stories and myths and are able to understand so very easily through parables, we express our inner truth through art.

Listen to music and you can hear the longing.  Read poems written centuries ago, study mythology and fairy tales, hymns and prayers, pay attention to trends of queries on the internet, tune in to what we all seek.

The Answer is very plain and simple, streamlined, pure and unalterable.  It's what we all crave so very deeply- to be appreciated, honored, respected; to be joyful and abundant; to be free to create and do whatever we want to do with all the support necessary for success; to not be limited by judgement, illness, disability, inequality, scarcity- in other words- fear.

You do not have to know it all.  You only have to know one thing.  There is only one standard guide by which anything of real value can be understood, and by which you will find success.  When you use Love as your guide in all manners, it will tell you what to do in every situation you will ever encounter in your entire life.

When you're afraid you do not know what is the best path to take, heed the Golden Rule's pervasive truth:

Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You.

Bringing Your Baby to Birth

If Mama Ain't Happy, Ain't Nobody Happy

To Mothers, Mothers-To-Be, and all my Sisters:

Readying yourself for motherhood begins before physical conception.  Just as a farmer plots and prepares his fields, consciously prepare your garden for the seed that will be planted.  Tend with care your fertile field.

Your fertile field is much more than simply your physical body.  Your fertile field encompasses all of your environment- your residence, your relationships, your responsibilities - anything that effects you will also effect your baby.

Who feels invited into a stressful atmosphere?  Or one in which there is imbalance and potential upheaval?  Do you feel comfortable when someone asks you to join them, and then they're totally distracted, or depressed, or disengaged for some reason?

Babies want love.  Babies want peace.  Babies want nurturing, care and attention.  Bring these qualities into your life; create the space inside of you and with your relationships in the world that embodies them.  It starts, of course, within yourself.

Your #1 responsibility is to Love.  You must love yourself.  This is important.  You, as a mother, are going to be a primary role model and caretaker of this new life you are inviting in.  Teach them to love themselves by first loving yourself: rest when you're tired, eat when you're hungry.  The baby will tell you what they want- honestly listen and you will know what is needed.  It happens that some babies want meat and their moms are vegetarian.  It happens that some babies don't want meat and it makes their previously carnivorous moms ill to even think about eating it.  Maybe you suddenly crave or hate milk, or have a very persistent need for meatball subs.  Listen.  Your baby will tell you.

Treat Yourself As One

Your baby loves you and wants to be with you just as much as you want to be with them.  Give them the space they need to grow and thrive and flourish.  Invite them in with nurturing love for yourself, for your relationships and for every task you endeavor in accomplishing.

Worry not.  All shall be well.

The Goddess of Fantasy

(from Thoughts and Meditations by Kahlil Gibran, translated by Anthony Ferris)

After a wearying journey, I reached the ruins of Palmyria.  There, I dropped, exhausted, upon the grass that grew among columns shattered and leveled by the ages. They looked like the debris left by invading armies.

At nightfall, as the black mantle of silence enfolded all creatures, I savored a strange scent in the air. It was as fragrant as incense and as inebriating as wine.  My spirit opened her mouth to sip the ethereal nectar.  Then a hidden hand seemed to press upon my senses and my eyelids grew heavy, while my spirit felt freed of its shackles.

Then the earth swayed under me and the sky trembled over me; whereupon I leaped up as though raised by a magic power.  And I found myself in a meadow the like of which no human being has ever fancied.  I found myself in the midst of a host of virgins who wore no other raiment than the beauty God gave them.  They walked around me, but their feet touched not the grass.  They chanted hymns expressing dreams of love.  Each maiden played on a lute framed with ivory and strung with gold.

I came upon a vast clearing in the center of which stood a throne inlaid with precious stones and illuminated with the rays of the rainbow.  The virgins stood at both sides, raised their voices and faced the direction whence came the scent of myrrh and frankincense.  The trees were in bloom and from between the branches, laden with blossoms, a queen walked majestically to the throne.  As she seated herself, a flock of doves, white as snow, descended and settled around her feet and formed a crescent while the maidens chanted hymns of glory.  I stood there watching what no man's eyes had seen, and hearing what no man's ears had heard.

Then the Queen motioned, and silence fell.  And in a voice that caused my spirit to quiver like the strings of a lute under a player's fingers, she said, "I have called you, man, for I am the Goddess of Fantasy.  I have bestowed upon you the honor of standing before me, the Queen of the prairies of dreams.  Listen to my commandments, for I appoint you to teach them to the whole human race: explain to man that the city of dreams is a wedding feast at whose door a mighty giant stands on guard.  No one may enter unless he wears a wedding garment.  Let it be known that this city is a paradise whose sentinel is the angel of Love, and no human may glance at it save he on whose forehead the sign of Love is inscribed.  Picture to them these beautiful fields whose streams flow with nectar and wine, whose birds sail the skies and sing with the angels.  Describe the aromatic scent of its flowers and let it be known that only the Son of Dream may tread its soft grass.

"Say that I gave man a cupful of joy; but he, in his ignorance, poured it out.  Then the angels of Darkness filled the cup with the brew of Sorrow which he drank and became inebriated. 

"Say that none can play the lyre of Life unless his fingers have been blessed by my touch and his eyes sanctified by the sight of my throne.

"Isaiah composed words of wisdom as a necklace of precious stones mounted on the golden chain of my love.  Saint John recounted his vision in my behalf.  And Dante could not explore the haven of souls save by my guidance.  I am metaphor embracing reality, and reality revealing the singleness of the spirit; and a witness confirming the deeds of the gods.

"Truly I say to you that thoughts have a higher dwelling place than the visible world, and its skies are not clouded by sensuality.  Imagination finds a road to the realm of the gods, and there man can glimpse that which is to be after the soul's liberation from the world of substance."

And the Goddess of Fantasy drew me toward her with her magic glance and imprinted a kiss upon my burning lips and said, "Tell them that he who passes not his days in the realm of dreams is the slave of the days."

Thereupon the voices of the virgins rose again and the column of incense ascended.  Then the earth began to sway again and the sky to tremble; and suddenly I found myself again among Palmyria's sorrowful ruins.

The smiling Dawn had already made its appearance, and between my tongue and lips were these words: "He who passes not his days in the realm of dreams is a slave of the days."

The Key

Here’s that key you were looking for,
the one for love, security and more.
You can stop looking for it on the floor;
it’s right here where you left it in the Door.

Oh!  The Door- you’d completely forgotten about that,
the one leading Home where you’d hang up your hat
and visit with loved ones and pet your sweet cat,

And smell the roses in the bouquet
that your wife had just gathered earlier today
from your yard that is full of blossoms and birds
and spiders and veggies and herbs and worms.

You take in a deep breath and release it quite slowly.
In this Kingdom of Home, no one is lowly.

The kids love their Ma and their Pa and each other,
No squabbles break out between sister and brother.

Your cats and your dogs, they get along too;
No biting, no hissing, no rolling in poo.

Dinner’s always tasty, because it’s always made with love
from the fruits of our labor and the sunshine from above.

Dreams are always dreamy, built from the stories that we share
of love and hope and prayers and play and of becoming aware
that though there is a worldly place, of misery, despair,
here at Home we’re safe from harm, because all we do is care

For each other and our creatures and our guests that come to play.
For once you visit, once you know, you’ll always want to stay
where peace and love and harmony all coincide each day.

And guests you’ll see, you’ll soon see my dears, as this is your Home, too;
that the keys you left in the Doors you forgot, they work for every room!

So now that you see that we all have the key to go to all of the places,
to open any door, to open any heart, to put smiles on all of the faces,

Take care to keep it close to your heart and you’ll see the power it holds,
for keys of this sort can unlock certain doors you’ve yet to be shown or told.

The Curiosity of Asheville, NC

The Appalachian Mountains are an ancient sanctuary to a wide spectrum of life. 

Nestled deeply within the motherly embrace of Western North Carolina's Appalachian Mountains, is the particularly diverse and welcoming community of Asheville.

What draws people from different places in the world, from different times in their life cycle, to WNC?

What calls people to visit these beautiful mountains, experience our unique community and then move here?

What is it that makes Western North Carolina such a sacred, diverse and creative place that so many different people want to call it Home?
It is the proven safety culturing inherently diverse beauty that Appalachia supports.

The Appalachian Mountains are the oldest mountains in the world. Changes over time have rounded and softened our peaks, compressed rock and minerals over millennium into a myriad of beautiful gemstones, and have consistently provided the oldest sanctuary for life when the world gets harsh.  With the wide difference of topography creating miniature eco-systems, we harbor a plethora of flora whose variance rivals any other place on Earth.  Though tempest storms may ravage neighboring lands, the peaks and valleys of our mountains break up tornadoes, hurricanes and other maelstroms that happen to blow our way.

Our ancient mountains have provided a safe haven for many thousands of years.  These proven guards continue to support a diversity of life in our community.  Because of this, we may also feel safe enough to nurture ourselves, to embrace and play with the creative spark within, and to seek to evolve our spirit.

When you find yourself in Asheville, NC, take advantage of the security that is provided for you.  Leap into the life you are offered: adventure outside,  inquire within.  Reach out and stretch yourself- take that leap of faith. We offer the network of support that will help you actualize the best possible version of yourself!

Who Teaches Us More- Our Parents or Our Children?

Childhood Reflections in Parenting

Children are a joy, an open invitation to sharing the delights of now and a door connecting us to simpler pleasures.

The relationship between child and parent is one of the most intimate experiences we will ever have.  We are called to reveal vulnerabilities.  This is our strength and boon.

One of the very first things my daughter taught me was that she was paying close attention to me.

Often when she was a baby, I would hold her close to me and dance while playing music.  When she was tired it would simply be her held against me resting her head on my shoulder, my hand on her back, patting and gently rubbing as we swayed.  It was soothing, nice, comforting.

Then one day, I noticed that my infant daughter was patting my back, too.  Wait a minute.....?!?  She was patting my back?  Holy cannoli - she was communicating loving me back!   Soooo sweet, awww, such lovingness- I was all gooshy of course, until I got a big, fat ole smack of sobering reality: She mimicked my method exactly.  I had better be darned sure that I modeled things consciously and well for this new relationship I'd signed up being responsible for rearing.

And then, something else occurs to me- perhaps she had been communicating love to me even before I noticed.  Perhaps she had done something with saliva and bubbles and that was her actual first attempt at extending her love to me.  I just didn't understand enough to see it and acknowledge it for what it was.

Two bits of parenting wisdom gleaned from this:

Your child is paying attention to everything you do.  

What am I teaching her when I react to something without thinking about it first?  If I make up an excuse instead of being accountable, what does that teach her is acceptable? What gift do I offer her when I tell her what to think rather than asking her what she thinks?  If I am distracted when someone is talking to me, what is that teaching her about respect?

Are you paying attention to everything your child does, too?  

Do I notice how she reacts to things?  Do I know what is important to her?  Can I figure out why she's quiet or stubborn or obtuse or loud or caustic or distracted or distracting?  Can I acknowledge what truly brings her happiness?  Can I recognize what she is putting out there?  Do I know when she is asking for help, or letting me know she cares? 

Parenting and being a kid is not for the weary of heart.  It takes stamina and conscious loving thought for both people in the relationship to thrive. 

So give yourself a break; give your kid a hug. 
You get what you put out there, so put out lots of love.