The Paralyzing Motivator of Guilt's Paradox

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. ² For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." Matthew 7:1-2

You make a mistake.  It happens.  That's easily let go.  Everyone makes mistakes, right?

You make a big mistake.  You make a mistake so big that it deeply hurts your heart.  Guilt sets in.  The pain you feel you have caused others is profoundly reflected and amplified deep down inside of you.  You feel bad, and assume you must be bad.  This is hard to swallow.  No one wants to feel this way or claim this as their identity.  And yet, we do.  Sometimes there is so much guilt accrued that who you really are and how you really want to be perceived gets buried, denied and ignored.

Unchecked, guilt festers and grows like a venomous villain, an evil twin inside of you that barks your worthlessness.

How do you respond to the constant condemnation, the barrage of belittlement and the streaming, screaming critiques of yourself?

Displacement of Guilt

Easily enough you can simply shift the blame of guilt and shame to someone else.  Who wants to own up to being unworthy when there are plenty of other people who have made even more mistakes, or worse ones?

³ “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? ⁴ How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? ⁵ You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye."  Matthew 7:3-5

When you point out others' weaknesses, it is a true reflection in how you perceive yourself and your own imperfections. Instead, find only what good you can in others and point that out with joy. This is healing for you both as it promotes love and equality.  This releases you and others from the past paralyzing perception of what you are not now.  For what is in the past shall never be in the present unless you bring it here with you. 

Guilt-Inspired Works

Another option you may choose is to "right the wrong"and thereby start diligently working to atone for yourself by being as nice and as giving as you can.  Bad karma can be replaced by good karma, right?  How can anyone be mad or think we're evil if we are always doing the very best we can, working for the betterment of others in lieu of ourselves?  Can't they see how hard we're trying?  Can't they see how good we really are?

You give your very best, at the expense of yourself even, in effort to please others, so that you might feel worthy again.

But somehow, it's still not right.  You still feel guilty, you still feel unworthy, and even though you give to the best of your ability, you constantly feel drained, under appreciated, undervalued, derailed and depressed.

Reflect for a moment what you're really putting out there. By miming altruism for absolution, you are projecting and telling the world (and yourself): "I'm guilty; this is my punishment; I'm enduring it so that I can feel better about myself because right now I feel like an ass."

When you do not value yourself, neither will others value you.  When you do not value others, neither do you value yourself.  This is what it means to be All One.

Mistakes of the heart can be much harder to release; it takes some effort to recognize, but you can forgive yourself and so will others.  Remember this: You are beautiful and perfect, right now, in the present reality.  Once you claim this knowledge and are no longer shackled by delusions, you are free to let joy back into your heart and share it truly with others.