3 Steps to Share The Load: How to lighten your responsibilities

Do you know how you are responsible for ‘everything’?    You have a job, a household to manage, family and friends to enjoy, to entertain and to support, and the natural desire to work on your own skills- your health, your intellect, and your evolution as an individual.  Responsibilities have become more complicated, more varied and more mutable than in humanities’ past. There is a necessary stretch for us to become masters (or at least passably-competent) in our myriad demands.  With all of these tasks, it is easy to feel that an oppressive and overwhelming cloud is keeping you from buoyant productivity.  

There is a known answer to this dilemma.  This key factor in our well-being and success has been lost in recent generations’ path toward individual prowess and power, but by necessity, it’s coming back.  We knew that to have the energy, time and sanity to keep all of our responsibilities flowing seamlessly throughout the fabric of our lives, we had to form a community- and we had to delegate. 

What does it mean to delegate?  To delegate is a critical management strategy, used to divide tasks among appointed people.  Though that sounds easy enough, being thoughtful and prepared when you delegate tasks will make the transaction much more smooth and reliable.  There is certain finesse in presentation required when you delegate tasks to individuals or groups of people, and here are the steps to achieve delegator success:

1. List your responsibilities

2. Have a community of people to delegate

3. Continue to be responsible for your responsibilities

The very first thing in delegation management is to make a list. Whether it is household chores or business responsibilities, lists are made of tangible, concrete and measurable items to delegate.  Make your list, and then categorize which responsibilities fall under which domain of your life such as: home, work, self, family/friends, etc.  

 If your list starts out with wide realms of responsibilities, such as “Take care of the new puppy”, you will want to detail out a sub-list of all of the duties required to take care of the new puppy.  When you’re writing out this list and you’ve forgotten some of the steps or duties of your responsibilities don’t worry.  Just start going along your daily routine and then jot down what you’re doing, and what you’re thinking about that needs to be done. Once it’s on the list, then you can forget about it for a while, and continue jotting more things that come into your mind and that you encounter throughout your day.   

Once you have your list complete, go through and cross out the items that you can happily and ably do yourself (these are things that you do not want or need to delegate to another person).  With the remainder items on your list, make sure that you have detailed out as much information as needed for another person to be able to read and understand.  This is a very thoughtful and some may say tedious process, however, the clearer that you can be in your list, using examples when needed, the easier it is going to be for someone to follow in your stead.  

 Here is an example:

Task: *Wash the Car*

Frequency: Every Saturday

Where: in the driveway

Steps: 
1. Remove the trash from the car,
2. Put away any accumulated objects (such as umbrellas, books, etc)
3. Remove floor mats then vacuum
4. Vacuum the inside floors, upholstery and trunk of car
5. Wash the inside windows
6. Wipe down the dash
7. Wash the outside of the car with soapy water and soft sponge
8. Rinse car with water from hose
9. Clean up all materials when finished

After your list is compiled and you feel comfortable with the steps and procedures added as needed, then you can start the job of matching the right person or the right team of people, for the responsibility.  The task of informing your delegates relies not only on concise, concrete responsibilities, but it also requires some respectful finesse in getting your delegates on board with the plan.  Whether it is your family, co-workers, children or employees, each person you enlist to help you with your list of responsibilities needs to feel empowered, valued and appreciated.  Relay the importance of working together as a team.  

If you are a parent, remember, your children are a viable source of help.  Get your kids involved in washing the dishes and cleaning up the communal areas of the house.  Kids can do so much and it is our duty as parents and caregivers to teach them how to take care of their own house one day.  Once your children have been conditioned how to put away their own laundry, or take out their own trash, etc. then you can start adding more duties to those they have learned. 

 Strategize your housework with your housemates so that you do not feel overly burdened.  Likewise with your office mates- coordinate a list of time-lines and duties that all team members will share in doing- who will clean the microwave this week, or throw out the old food in the fridge?  Make sure that your peers are on-board with the plan; this is where finesse is required for success.  Emphasize the fairness of sharing the load, and be sensitive to what people are capable of doing.  Sometimes it is a fair deal to rotate all of the shared duties; sometimes it is better for the team to strategize who is gifted, efficient or enjoys certain chores such as shopping, cooking or paying the bills and assign a regular delegate.

Employees need to be given particular instruction when doling out responsibility checklists.  See the article “How to Support Your Support Staff” for more information.

Finally, after you have allotted each item to a team member, you can take a deep breath, close your eyes, and start to re-route your own pattern.  This is an important step.  You will have to find a good equilibrium between letting go of the stress you had revolving around your imposing responsibilities, and the fact that ultimately, you are still the responsible person for what tasks you’ve delineated to others. It’s a fine balancing act to let go and still manage to maintain guiding control.  Each person and each instance will need to be measured for how much support and follow up they will require to do the job well-enough for your standards.    

Creating a detailed list, identifying and explaining tasks to your team members and then checking up to ensure things are completed will be initially time consuming if it is thorough and thoughtful.  When you put in the time and energy to make a solid foundation for your plan, you will be rewarded by forging a new and efficiently balanced system.

 “Many hands make light work”

For more information on how to communicate effectively with every person in your life, I highly suggest this book: Nonviolent Communication A Language of Life by Marshall B. Rosenberg.

Home Made Chicken Pot Pie

When it's chilly outside, I like to bake.  I've never been a fan of pies in general, and yet, when I heard how my parents were raving about my sister's chicken pot pie she made for them, I admit, I challenged myself and learned how to make this pie to share with my crew.  It's been one of our all-time favorites ever since.  This recipe is adapted from the Better Homes & Gardens New Cook Book.

The secret to the best home-made meals is using fresh, organic, local produce and meat when possible.  Grinding your own spices also makes a big difference when cooking from scratch.

NANA'S DOUBLE FLAKY PIE CRUST (for top and bottom crusts):
2 c flour (I used white wheat)
2/3 c oil (I like olive oil for chicken pot pie)
1 t salt
1/4 c ICE water (ice water means measure out the 1/4 cup, put the cup into the freezer for 5 minutes and then add the ingredients together)
Mix together with a fork and then form a ball with your hands.  Divide the ball into 2 equal pieces.  Flatten and roll between waxed paper.  Line pie pan.  Fill with desired contents and place other rolled pastry on top of pie.  Trim and crimp edges together to make a seal.  Don't forget to cut vents in the top of the pie dough piece before putting it into the oven.


CHICKEN POT PIE FILLING INGREDIENTS:
Cooked Chicken (I often will put a whole chicken in the crock pot to cook, and freeze the stock for a soup for later; if there is no time to cook a chicken in the crock pot, I also have gotten a rotisserie chicken from the market and will use that) Chop/chunk it into bite-sized pieces and set aside.

Saute in a large skillet over medium heat:
2-3 T olive oil
chopped up leeks (2-3) or onions(1 medium to lg) or a bunch of scallions (or a mixture)

1/2 c or more diced mushrooms- usually I used bellas, but anything will do
1/2 bunch of diced fresh parsley (Italian flat leaf parsley is what choose)
Greens- I often choose kale, mustard or beet greens or cabbage for their high nutrient content- chop up into tiny pieces (this rough type of green will saute nicely and not be tough at all in the pie)
1 t thyme dried & crushed, (great if you have fresh)
ground pepper to taste
salt to taste

Boil vegetables seperately:
diced carrot or two (scrub the outside and do not peel your carrots and potatoes to help maintain nutrient content)
2-3 potatoes, unpeeled and chopped up into bite-sized pieces
Left-over veggies that are sitting around- broccoli pieces, cauliflower, parsnips, corn, peas, other non-super-flavorful veggies (not peppers, for example) cut those up into bite sized pieces and toss them into the pot to boil with carrots and potatoes.  Drain and set aside.

After the saute is ready:
Sprinkle over the tender onions, etc 2/3 c flour and gently stir amongst the sauteed veggies.
Add (at the same time) 4 c chicken broth and 1 1/2 c milk (whole milk, almond milk, whichever kind you use). Cook and stir until thickened and bubbly.  Add chicken chunks and boiled vegetables and heat til bubbly.  Pour mixture into prepared pie crusted pan and bake at 450 for 12-15 minutes til golden brown.

This mixture is enough for 2 pies- freeze the other half of the chicken mixture for ready-made filling another night!

Asheville: A Place Where Dreams Come True

Many of us find ourselves in Asheville from visiting friends and family who live here, staying here for vacation or simply traveling through these beautiful mountains.  Perhaps we think it may be by accident that so many different but like-minded people end up calling Western North Carolina "home", but it is not an accident.

There is something in Asheville that draws people from all kinds of demographics, and each person with their own history of experiences and wisdom.  With the variance of age, ethnicity and socioeconomic levels, what is the binding force that draws us all here, and mixes us up into this beautiful composition of artists, entrepreneurs, healers and horticulturalists?

Asheville is a place where dreams come true because everyone who comes to live here has seen that transformation happen.  We share our stories of awe and gratitude with our neighbors at the mailbox and to the people we bump into at the gas station.  There is a constant spring of bubbling love whenever we talk about our Home.  It comes in the form of recognizing the beauty of undisturbed nature (Walk out of the grocery store and gaze out at the gently rolling mountain range; you'll see what I mean) and it is perpetuated by the beauty of how we treat each other with out-reaching kindnesses  (You'll be pleased by how easy it is to get on and off the high-way when you drive in Asheville, for example.  Letting people in goes way beyond simply opening the door for strangers here).

We make our dreams come true by perpetuating what we valued when we first experienced Asheville: kindness, diversity, and an openness that is seldom felt anywhere else in our country.

Starting Your Own Business? Here’s a Checklist to Help Beginning Entrepreneurs

Things You Will Need to Start a Business:

* Privilege license from the city of your business location- if you are renting the space, your landlord must be aware and approve of the business you’re running from the space.
* Proof of Insurance for liability
* Website URL- purchase a domain name from GoDaddy, HostMonster or whomever, that states the name of your business and/or location in the URL.  Try and get a .com; it’s preferable over .net or .biz, etc. This is about $13/year.  You can also purchase several URLs and point them to your main website if you like.  This helps your website be found more easily on the internet, and linking can be done anytime during your business’ life.
* Website Hosting- purchase a hosting package from GoDaddy or whomever you choose.  You will want the simplest, lease expensive package. It’ll run you probably around $70/year or so.
* Business Plan- or at least a rough timeline with goals and budget
* Start organizing your filing system now; include a place to keep hard copies of your business expenses, receipts.  You may want to keep a virtual system of your expenses to help you keep track of everything, such as Quick Books or a simple spreadsheet in Excel.
* Make a database for all of your contacts – this includes your clients, potential clients, service providers and contractors.
* Save all of your business cards- collect them whenever you meet someone and write info on the back to help you recall your connection and discussion when you review the card at a later date.
* Obtain a Separate credit card and bank account for your business.  You can get a personal account at the bank and use it “Doing Business As” or “DBA” with your business name, your personal name and your address.
* Make sure you have a separate computer for business use only.  Have a backup computer plan should your business computer need maintenance or goes down for some reason.  Backup Computer Plans include- a secondary computer for you to access your files and the software used to read them.  You will need to make copies of your data on a regular basis- 2 backup systems are preferable for businesses: one that is tangible and present such as a DVD/CD of your backup, or a hard drive backup, and another backup which is off-site, such as Carbonite or Mozy services.
* Some things you’ll want to think about for yourself and your business to promote yourself and to establish your credibility:
**Curriculum Vitae or Resume posted online and accessible, preferably in .pdf  State your credentials in this
**A business card with your contact information and logo; brochure/rack card developed
**Attend networking events, such as the Chamber of Commerce events and other local networking groups

Social Media and online presence:

Linked In profile completed
FaceBook presence for your business
Google+ page
Blog and outgoing newsletter with current articles of your service, your business and your area of expertise
Manta, Merchant Circle, FourSquare, Yellowbook, Yelp, etc and all the search engine listings need to be claimed with your information and kept updated as needed
Submit your website(s) to all the online search engines
Look over websites online and see what types of websites appeal to you- what the layout is, what colors you like, etc and this will help start to form an idea of how to create your website.

Vote for Small Businesses

For a handful of years now, small businesses in America have suffered from a slowing of the economy due to fiscal irresponsibility by big businesses.  The trickle-down effect has never been more poignant than it is today.  As a country based on money-flow, economics and the almighty dollar, the United States has forgotten the roots of its conception, Freedom.  We have replaced our value system with Greed.  For many, this is not a viable value to uphold.  

American freedom represents the right to vote for what we as individuals consider worthy, valuable and ethical to maintain a vibrant, growing society.   Because we have developed our nation into an economic machine, competing to see who can make the most money, and therefore hold the most power, the manner in which we spend our money is the real vote.

Large companies have little to no consideration for the individual.  Their purpose is to make money.  Corporations see employees as expendable, considering cost analysis and production the sole purpose for employment.   If someone or something can be more efficient and less costly, the employee will be replaced.

Small businesses, on the other hand, are often birthed by someone’s dream.  The purpose for many small businesses is to fulfill a passion, and to ensure that passion is subsidized by the business’ earnings.  A small business caters to its community and cares about its customers.  Interactions with clients become personal connections, and both parties benefit from this mutual relationship.

What will really help us as individuals in our current economic situation?  Develop a relationship with the businesses in your neighborhood.  Patronize local establishments instead of mega-corporations, even if it means paying a little more.  Remember, your money is your vote in which direction our country will run- will it be by concerned local citizens that know your community, or by the next Walmart that squelches out the beautiful array of independent businesses?  Your vote matters.

How To Make Things With Love

I had just made a big transition in my life, quitting my professional mental health position (which I had been involved in for 10 years) and now working the early morning shift at our local, quaint bakery, in Weaverville, NC. There were 3 of us there at 6am- Joshua, who managed all the bakers, Pinkey, (who, as the 'early morning' baker, arrived daily at 4am!) and myself, the "Front Girl".

Joshua and Pinkey were easy to love- so chipper in the early dark hours, singing to the "Carolina Furniture Concepts" radio commercials in unison, making jokes and having fun. I loved being around them- the joy they had was certainly contagious, and I got to pass that on to the early morning customers as they arrived for coffee.

I recall Pinkey's daily routine consisted of coming out from behind the swinging doors of the hot kitchen, kerchief on her head, apron covered in sugar and flour, smeared with egg. On her scrap of paper, she'd look at the glass front case at the cookie display and jot down what quantities needed to be made. I'd hand her a cup of cappuccino, her favorite, and she'd tell me about the 'little babies' that she'd made earlier- the muffins, the croissants, the coffee cake and cheese biscuits. She'd dote over the warm trays of goodies she presented to me, waving her hand over them protectively, wafting about the warm, lovely scent of baked wonders.

"The scones today are cranberry and walnut," she'd say with a smile and a little motherly pat above the scones. "The coffee cake turned out especially well this morning," she'd comment while I nodded. "Oh, and you tell the everyone that these rugelach cookies I made with love." I paused whenever she said that, which she often did when she referred to her products. Made with love? What did that mean? Of course I'd heard it before, "Made with Love!" but I'd never really thought about what that meant, until I saw Pinkey in action while she baked.

The girl would be singing, humming, dancing, cavorting, teasing and generally being in good spirits while she was in the kitchen. Her smile was as big as the sun, and her hands were beautiful- long fingers covered in dough that she'd been kneading and mixing, rolling and rationing. Pinkey completely threw herself into her baking: her hands were always touching and feeling the consistency of the dough, her mouth tasting a new icing recipe throughout the creative process, a little more this, a pinch more that, some nutmeg, and voila! A perfect croissant! A beautiful cheddar biscuit! A hint of ginger in the pumpkin bread? Yes, its even better than last time, Pinkey.

Her delight when I regaled her with stories of how people truly enjoyed and complimented her baking was always a favorite moment of mine. "I'm so glad that someone noticed how soft the oatmeal cookies were this time, and that they liked it," and her smile would liven up her eyes as she tucked away the mental notes.

What I learned from Pinkey, on how to make things with love, is that you must enjoy what it is you are doing. Play music, dance around, play while you're preparing and working on your task. When you enjoy what it is that you are doing, you pay attention to the little things, like tasting to ensure there is not too much salt in the mix, or turning the baking pan around mid-cycle in the oven to ensure even cooking. When you make something with love, your intention is to create something worthy- usually for another person, or group of people, like your family and friends. You delight in being able to offer your very best product, to have your loved one's eyes sparkle with anticipation for what you're about to bestow. You take the time to pay attention, to be thoughtful in each step (perhaps the potato pieces should be a bit smaller for fitting into my child's mouth when she takes a bite of this home-made soup), to rejoice in your task and smile as you go. You embellish your finished piece with final touches, because it requires a lovely presentation for all that love you put in there and are about to share with others.

The moment comes when its time to unveil your masterpiece: home-made chocolate chip cookies, still warm from the oven so that the chocolate melts when you break one open.

It is my hope that, as I become more thoughtful, I will be able to make each meal with love, instead of it being a required task. Perhaps one day, I may even be able to clean out the spiders in my basement with love. I'm still working on that one, Pinkey.

Business Relationships Matter

First impressions are vital, and to make your impression last, continue to court your customers with engaging novelties.  This can be developed by writing about your specialties, publicizing your community involvement and upcoming changes, and touting stories of your customers' appreciation in your advertising literature and social media.  

Ask for feedback from your customers.  Not only will this give you valuable information about your services and products, but it will also strengthen the connection that you have with your community.  When you listen to what your customers are saying about your business, you empower that customer, because you care about what they are saying.  When you empower someone, they are on your team, and will advocate for your business from their heart.  Both of you benefit from this trusting relationship. 

When you receive praise from someone about your business, ask them if you can use their words as a testimonial to your work.  Sincere words from your customers are powerful tools to help other potential clients find you and use you.  Post your accolades on your website and your marketing literature.  Ask customers to write in their own words the experience they have when they do business with you.  Let your customers know how valuable their feedback is to you, and that when they post reviews on the Internet (such as Google Reviews, and Angie’s List) these words will really help your business.

How to Be A Good Leader

Are you a manager of employees, or a parent of children?  Many of the same valuable strategies are used when people rely on you as their leader in any case.  Your followers, willing or not, are people for whom you are responsible.  Though you are not responsible for the individual choices of their actions, you are responsible for teaching, guiding and enabling each person to do their very best.

What is not instinctually set within us is taught to us firstly by example.  Leading by example has been our evolutionary pattern.   Babies start to mimic sounds and the facial expressions of their parents soon after birth.  So too does the leader of a company set the parameter of how to act when an employee first starts work.  You impress upon your followers (your children, your employees) which ethics are important, how to manage problems that arise, and you instill within them how valuable they are to you.   You may not even realize this exchange is occurring in the relationship.

Your role as a leader of another comes with certain universal expectations from that person (which they may not consciously recognize themselves that they expect).   These are for you to be consistent, clear and concrete with them.   

In action and manner, your consistency is a solid platform on which your ward may comfortably interact with you.   * When you are in a leadership role, people expect you to act within certain cultural boundaries.  You are giving the gift of comfort and ease when you act within what is ‘normal’.  *

Being clear in your communication is vital to maintaining efficiency within the relationship.

 Having concrete goals that are measurable, achievable and recognized will empower the person you wish to guide.