Sunday, February 14, 2016

Roger and Liz

Two lovable con-artists, Roger and Liz, adventuring American high society together in the early 1920's.  Seen at the races, the clubs and courses, they enamored all of their friends and stole from each of them- their money, their trust and in return gave to them the taste of love and adventure that these two chemically radiated whenever they were together.

 "Oh Roger," Liz exclaims, her hands placed palm-flat against the silk of his wide lapeled vest.  He looks at her with interest, the hint of money slipping from beneath her bra to frame her lovely figure in greens and whites.  She'd stuffed the dollars she'd shifted from Sarah's red and pearl embroidered purse (all of it!) against her chest, next to her heart, and his hand were upon the small of her back, guiding her closer to press tightly against him.  Their hearts were racing from the thrill of the game, the thrill of being caught up in this chicanery together, every risky moment bonding them even more.

He loved her more than he had loved anything else, and that is why he always kept a bit of a layer between them sexually.

They flirted heavily with each other and he eased his hands over her body, smoothly caressed her hair, her cheeks, but could not get a rise when she nuzzled her face against his pant-clad lap.

She wondered if he loved money more than he loved her, or the sense of adventure they had together - but that was not the case.  He loved her much more than he dare admit, for to admit it would give her compete mastery over him. 

Sweet and beautiful and charming as she was, he did not know if he could afford to lose himself with her - to lose himself would be to lose everything, for he was all he ever had.  Everything else came and went on a dime - money, clothes, people, places...

But he could not dare himself the risk of losing himself to her, no matter how deep were the pools of promise in her eyes and the sweet sincerity of her heart - he knew she was his.  He knew it with every fiber of his being.  But did he trust himself enough to keep her?
Keep her from every harm, every pain, every dirty, rotten thing he'd encountered on this ferris wheel ride?  It made his head spin to think of the responsibility his heart would be burdened with if he allowed her to come into it.


So, instead, she was his dance partner, and they danced many times together, in and out of different scenes, different cities, charming the lot of them in each scenario because they could, because everyone could feel the chemistry between them and were enamored by it.

They always attracted attention when they were together.  It was a heady trap they'd set, and they themselves were the chief rats caught in the middle of their own dynamic drama.  They chased and eluded each other as much as they chased and eluded their patsy friends.  They loved to play the game.
Until one day, when she asked to change the rules, until she asked him to give more than he was willing to give.

And he left... left her to find her own way because he knew she needed to be loved, and he did not know if he wanted to be responsible for that.

Neither were able to find satisfaction in their separation.  Both of them had broken hearts.

Maybe they would find each other again in another time, another life - and try once more to make it work.  Maybe, one day, they'd play the game to win.







Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Kale, Butternut Squash and Chickpea salad with Tahini dressing

I cannot eat enough of this salad since my friend, Michelle, shared some with me.  Because it is so varied in nutrients, it can be used as a side dish or a main dish.

Preheat oven to 400 degrees

2 bunches kale (red and/or green)- leafy parts only; remove the tough ribbing
1 c chopped cilantro
mix above and set aside

1-2 butternut squash, peeled, de-seeded and cut into bite sized squares
1 15 oz can garbanzo beans (aka chickpeas) drained and rinsed
2-3 T olive oil
1-2 T curry powder
dash (or three) of cayenne
sprinkles of kosher salt (optional)
Toss together above ingredients and place on foil-lined cookie sheet and bake for 20 minutes or until the squash is tender

DRESSING:
2 T Tahini
1/4 c olive oil
1 T vinegar of your choice (I've used apple cider vinegar and rice wine vinegar and both are lovely)
1 t honey
1/2 t kosher salt
Combine in a jar with a well fitting lid the ingredients above, then shake vigorously to mix.

Drizzle dressing over kale and cilantro and let rest to allow kale pieces to soften while the squash and chickpeas cool.  Toss all ingredients together and add 1 c candied nuts on top!

CANDIED NUTS:
1/2 c sugar
1/2 c brown sugar
1 T cinnamon
1 t salt
1/8 t cayenne pepper
4 c pecan and/or walnut halves, unsalted
1 egg white, whisked

Preheat oven to 300 degrees
Add sugar, brown sugar, cinnamon, salt and cayenne to a large bowl or ziplock bag.  Toss or whisk and set aside.
In a separate bowl, add nuts and egg whites- toss until combined and pecans/walnuts are evenly coated.
Add sugar mixture and toss until combined.  Spread mixture evenly on parchment lined cookie sheet and bake for 40 minutes, removing nuts and giving them a stir after 20 minutes, then returning to oven to ensure even toasting.  Bake until nuts are fragrant and sugar coating is cooked.  (the sugar will harden more once the nuts are out of the oven)
Remove and cool until nuts are room temperature. Transfer to an air-tight container to store.  (These make an excellent gift, btw, jarred up in a nice mason jar with a ribbon and some pretty fabric)  Add to granola or use as a salad topper, or eat by themselves as a sweet snack.


Pumpkin Bread with Cranberries

Thanks to working with some of the most exquisite bakers, I have obtained a fabulous recipe for the most delicious pumpkin bread I've ever tasted.  It has become a staple in our home which I make at least 6 times/year.  This recipe makes 2 loaves, so be sure to share with friends and family (or stick one in the freezer for later!)



3 1/2 c flour (I use whole wheat flour)
2 t baking soda
1 1/2 t salt
1 t baking powder
2 t cinnamon
2 t nutmeg
1/2 t ground cloves
3 c sugar
2-3 T minced fresh ginger root
2/3 c water
1 c oil (I prefer to use shortening in quick breads because it makes the loaves less dense)
5 beaten eggs
1 15 oz can pumpkin
1 bag fresh cranberries
(optional- 1 c walnut or pecan pieces)


Preheat oven to 350 degrees and grease two loaf pans

Mix dry ingredients first, then add wet, then beat on high for 2 minutes to add lift to dough by activating the gluten in the flour.  Add pumpkin and cranberries last.  Bake for 1 hour or until set.

Remove from loaf pans after 10-15 minutes and allow to cool on wire rack completely before wrapping up in foil for storage.

Thursday, January 29, 2015

Chocolate Chocolate-Chip Cookies

What happens when you adore chocolate?  You make chocolate chocolate-chip cookies and share the love!


(For my ToastMasters colleagues that enjoyed our luncheon yesterday so much and requested this recipe- Much love to you all!)


Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

Start by mixing:
1 cup butter (room temp)
1 c light brown sugar
1/2 c sugar

Scrape bowl if needed, then add:
2 t vanilla
2 eggs

Mix all wet ingredients then sift the following together and slowly add:
2 1/4 c flour
1/2 t baking soda
1 t salt

Finally, add 2 cups of chocolate chips and then drop by rounded spoonful onto cookie sheets (dough is extra sticky!) and bake for 8-10 minutes.  Remove from sheet within a few minutes; these cookies are semi-fragile, but worry not: you can eat the ones that break.  Ahhhh... the joy of baking! :)

Friday, November 28, 2014

Collapsing the Duality Within

Each of us harbor these two inner conflicts:

The fear of being controlled or forced.  

No one likes being told what to do, forced into doing something they don't like, don't believe in or made to do something without consent.

The fear of being abandoned or rejected.

No one wants to be left alone in their time of financial need, emotional depression, physical ailment or any low point in their life.

No one wants either of these things in a relationship.  All of us have endured experiencing it.

When threatened, is it "Fight or Flight?"
"Float like a butterfly or sting like a bee?"
Realize that you have more than two choices.

.

When we take time to consider these two deep inner fears, we are better equipped to understand the reasoning behind the actions of self and others.  If either of these tender wounds becomes threatened, we retreat into our well-grooved "fight or flight" reactive response patterns.

One who fears being controlled by another may overtly force others, daring another to take it from him; likewise for fear of being controlled, one may flee physically or emotionally.

One who fears abandonment may assert control over a relationship, building co-dependance, coercion and other imbalances; likewise one who is fearful of being abandoned or rejected may never open up to allow himself to receive it, fleeing even the possibility.

Look to yourself and notice if any of your behavior reflects reactions such as these to relationships.  Being mindful of these patterns in others allows us to use empathy and compassion in our interactions, for we understand they come from a wounded place themselves.  Notice where you may be allowing yourself to be controlled or abandoned in your life.  Go within and ask yourself why you are allowing this.  Find which fear is at the root of that which is keeping you from blissful success.  


Becoming aware is the first stage to make significant and lasting changes in life.  

Being mindful when taking action is the second: Be the change you wish to see.

 





Thursday, November 27, 2014

Blond Brownies

Blond Brownies with Walnuts and Chocolate Chips

A family favorite of mine since childhood, these light colored brownies are rich in density.  I love baking these blondies for the holidays.

Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees.
Mix dry ingredients separately and set aside; you will add these to the wet ingredients last.

Dry Ingredients
2 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
3/4 teaspoon salt


Wet Ingredients
Melt 2/3 cup butter
Add 2 cups firmly packed brown sugar and mix together.


Add 2 teaspoons vanilla and 2 eggs
Mix well.

Add flour mixture gradually, mixing well.  This will be a sticky batter that will wants to move slowly together a bit like taffy.  You do not need to force this batter- simply guide it and use a scraper to keep it coagulated. 

Place batter into 13x9 inch pan.
Sprinkle top with 5 oz (1/2 package) chocolate chips and 1/3 cup walnuts. 
Bake for 30 minutes. 
Let cool then cut and enjoy!

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Humbly Magnificent

It has always been easy for me to see the very best in people.  When I connect with someone, I immediately see their goodness, their skills and feel their passion.  I am a catalyst for bringing that to surface awareness, which is a good part of what makes it fun for me to be in marketing and promotion.  I catch hold of your greatness, I find the reins of what feeds your passion, I encourage and extrapolate, helping to put together the best aspects of who you are and what you represent.

What vexes me as a Seer is when someone cannot see that beautiful potential within themselves.  Sometimes I feel as though I have failed in not successfully showing it to them.  But in all truth, it is only that they do not really wish to see it.

Why are so many people so scared of owning their own greatness?  Is it too daunting?  Are you nervous that more will be expected of you?  That you will have to work harder?  That you will be more accountable?  Do you fear that suddenly your whole life will completely change?

Owning your greatness does not have to be an immediate jump.  It is a recognition, an awareness of that which you already are.  You can take this process as slowly as you would like.  It does not have to suddenly turn your life around.  Baby steps of awareness are as powerful as gigantic leaps of faith, for it is within those baby steps that you can completely change your perspective and thus your entire direction and manner in which you move will shift along with it.


Once you start to recognize just how beautiful, capable and worthy you are, you will also start to see how you are connected and that you are part of a greater design.  You will see that other people are just as worthy and valuable as you are.  This is a very humbling and magnifying perspective to hold- one that is worthy of awe and reverence once you start to really grasp it.

Many people are still sleepily stuck in the "unaware" dreamland of distracted existence.  It is up to us to help remind people to find that goodness of who they are in the kernel of their heart, to recognize and nurture it, to take baby steps of awareness, to start to stand more firmly in their greatness, to not be afraid of the power of their potential, and ultimately to unleash their magnificence.

How do we do this?  We model it in our actions, in our manner and how we move.  We become consciously aware that we are the change we wish to see in the world.  It is a very accountable way of living and not one for the faint of heart, for the world currently fights against its own honor.  This unsustainable way of living is coming to a close and is made all the more poignant as the world starts to rattle and shake from its unstable distribution of power and oppression.

Remember your greatness.  Remember your strength of conviction in what is right and true and good and honorable in your heart.  Remember that when things get difficult, we are to rely on one another, to trust one another, to love one another.  This is how we survive as a species, as a group, as a whole- we help each other, extend to each other, see the good in each other, and actively celebrate the small miracles that are given to us each and every day.  Remember the axiom upon which we have founded ourselves: United we stand, divided we fall. 

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Breaking Addictions and Changing Habits



We go through life picking up various lifestyle habits and patterns from our parents, from our peers, from our culture in general.  Some manners of life are beneficial to us, some are not.  When addictions or other challenging habits are developed, changing them can be an easy adjustment or a lifetime goal.  Though the time-span of change is very individual, the method and process for change is similar for all.  By understanding these human similarities and using them as guides, we can develop a plot-line for goal achievement and success.

The first step is to acknowledge that change needs to happen. 

How do we know when there is something that we need to change? 



Life just doesn’t feel right.  Things are not easy for us.  We are not happy, fulfilled or thriving.  We feel rushed or tired, angry or complacent.  Our actions are not our best.  Our thoughts are not our best.  We are not “in the groove” with life.

When we become more aware of our lives, we may notice that we might also not enjoy some of the company that we tend to keep.  We may see little value of the exchanges within our relationships.  They could be rife with friction or drain our reserves of time, energy and finances.

The second step is to identify what needs to be altered.

The toughest challenge of changing a habit is identifying what it is that needs to be altered to get the results you truly want.

You’ve been in denial for a while.  It’s comfortable there; you don’t have to think.  You know what to expect.  The pattern is well worn, which is why it’s become habit.  Even though you know life could be better, your faulty logic protests that at the very least, you know the pitfalls of the patterns that you’ve accustomed yourself to accommodating, and you haven’t died yet.  You're just miserably taxed with the lifestyle of trying to avoid falling into them again, or pulling yourself back up and out again and again when you do.  It is a life worn by living in the state of reaction, rather than being conscious, mindful and pro-active.

Do you really want to fly off the handle so easily?  Do you really want to sneak around and feel guilty about overeating, or having an affair, or getting wasted?  Are you tired of hating yourself and tired of how people misperceive you?  At what point will it take for you to know that it’s time to change before there is even more destruction to your self-esteem, your potential and your integrity?  

After becoming aware that there is a habit or pattern that you’d like to change, establishing and manifesting the change becomes the next challenge.  Practice mindfulness in each decision you make, each thought that you create and each action that you choose to display.  Have an accountability system set up for yourself.  Check in with yourself, your friends, your mentors.  Pray for guidance. Ask for help and support when you need it.  Being able to show your vulnerability requires inner strength.   

Distract yourself less; pay attention more. Where are you headed?  With whom are you going? Don’t put yourself on auto-pilot when you are in the driver’s seat of life: remember, you control what direction you are headed.  Never doubt it- this life is yours to steer, so where do you want to go? 

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

The Jealous Crow Chapter 3




The dawn would be too quick in coming.  During these final hours together, Seneca and her mother spent these moments in quiet reflection.  Rare words were exchanged, but when spoken were thoughtful and loving.  Her mother quickly put together a bag with provisions for her physical nourishment: a few red apples, a handful of dried figs and another of dried almonds, a slender jar of olives, an alternate set of clothing and a few trinkets of memorabilia she hoped would bring her daughter some emotional comfort.  Neither of them knew what Seneca would face on this immediately pending, forced journey.

The old crone simply continued to rock back and forth, humming an oddly familiar tune.  The melody was simple, compelling and hauntingly beautiful.  She recognized it, but could not place how or why.  Was it from a dream?  It was as if she were caught in the circle of time, the repeating notes of the meandering melody and the eerie rhythmic creaks of the rocking chair plucked at the strings of her memories.  The maid closed her eyes, wondering how the old woman knew this tune and why it chilled her very soul to hear it.

Seneca could feel herself altering further as daybreak approached.  Her mind was sharply attuned, but her body felt much lighter; sounds, colors and scents were losing their richness.  Her mother’s voice became fainter and the outline of her form became fuzzy.  Seneca rose quickly from her place by the fire to go and embrace the mother of her childhood.  As she approached, arms and eyes wide open, the world she knew faded completely into mist.  Nothing remained but the old woman and the sound of her low graveled laughter.


Seneca drew in a deep breath and surveyed her surroundings.  There was nothing, truly.  Mystified, she turned all the way around, dark eyes drinking naught but milk-colored mist.  She viewed no discernible form aside from her own body and the dark mass of the old woman.  Nothing else could she see in the white thicket of fog.  
“Well now,” Seneca stated evenly and turned to face the crone.  “What do we have here?”  The young woman’s eyes seized the other's gaze and held it there with quiet, unassuming authority.  “Tell me what you know.”  The sound of her voice was muffled by the heavy tomb of cloying mist surrounding them, a strained string of sound stretching to be caught by fog-cottoned ears.

The old woman's body clenched tightly and she started to shake.  A few attempts were made to cough.  After she had finished her bout of gritty laughter, she stated evenly, “I know many things.”  Sipsis cocked her head with amused annoyance, dark shadows dancing in the hollows behind the green orbs of her eyes.   “What would you like to know first, milady,” she asked, her brittle voice licked with filmy cynicism.  Thin lips curled around grey-stained teeth as she regarded Seneca with wayward reflection.

With a dose of ire, Seneca sucked in a sharp breath, held the shock of cold moisture fully in her lungs then slowly released it to mingle with the mist.  Droplets of dew coalesced and clung to the long, loose strands of her black hair, beaded her brows, laid claim upon her body entirely.  Luminescent hands smoothed down the front paneling of pleats at her waist, the willowy fabric of her dress clinging to her form with its heavy embrace.  Her vision was clouded, her skin wetted with blankets of shifting mists, but her mind was undampened and her will was unwashed.  She would know fully of her circumstance and stepped a pace to close the distance between them.

She implored of the crone, “What is this place?  Who are you?  Why am I here? What happens next?”  As the unnerving initial shock of her present situation started to subside, the rush of questions began to bubble and boil, a torrent of tumbling force.

The old crow-woman sneered and lifted an arm to broadly sweep the area of mist, “This is the Ethereal Plane, milady.  The world you knew is separate from this place.”  Her voice creaked with age as she continued, “I am called Sipsis, and now, because of that curse you’re wearing around your neck,” the crone lifted a long bent finger and pointed with her haggard sharp nail to the willow-tree pendant, “I am bound to you.”

Somehow Seneca had known this about their relationship; something had indeed altered both of them during the transformation.  Sipsis had become her thrall.  The realization disgruntled her.  This was a true curse indeed.

The old woman continued, “You’re here because the Fates have deemed it, dearie.”  The crone cackled morosely, “Just as They have deemed me serve it with you.”  So it was true, then.  Both of them were trapped here in this foggy reality where nothing else seemed to exist.  Quietly absorbing these pieces of information, Seneca allowed the hag to continue in answering her last question.
Nothing had prepared her for what happened next.  

 “Follow me,” Sipsis creaked with a sickening twist.  There was a flush of dark feathers and the old woman was once again a green-eyed crow.  The ebon bird squawked and started to fly off into the mist.  Blinking in disbelief, Seneca hurried to catch up to the large, flying crow.  In her haste, somewhere in the midst of the mist, she left the bag of provisions her mother had given to her.

Ruefully, Seneca lost sight of the crow.  It was too easy to lose track of anything not more than two feet nearby in these cloudy conditions.  The young woman stalled her pace and cursed her bad luck.  Not wishing to disorient herself further, she stood still to get her bearings.  While she looked around the foggy terrain, she became increasingly alarmed at the vast nothingness that she perceived.  She strained her ears to hear the flapping of dark wings or a call from the crow to give her a sense of direction, a sense of hope in this dense white-scape.  

Nothing.  That’s what came to her, and that’s what she was in right now.  Hearing nothing, seeing nothing, even noting no discernible scent, she started to walk purposefully straight ahead.  She was bound to find something if she kept moving in one direction.  Sipsis went somewhere, didn’t she?  Blasted bird.  What good was a servant if they left you?  Suddenly, she stopped straight in her tracks with the realization.

“Sipsis, come here,” she said clearly and a bit more loudly than necessary.  The rook was soon flying in large circles above her head.  It was to her relief to spot that fowl bird, troublesome as she may be.

In a fit of dark hurried flurry, the crow swooped past Seneca's shoulder and emitted a shrieking "Caw!" near her head.  Another, closer sweeping pass of the bird lifted the young woman's hair, the current of force carrying the crow's piercing call right to her ear. "Fly!" called the crow and then flew up and away into the sky-sea of mist once again.

Though Seneca was ready to keep her sight locked on Sipsis when she spotted her, she was not ready for that piece of advice.  “Fly?” she murmured to herself in surprise.  “I can…” it was spoken in question more than stated as she fully extended her ebony wings for the first time.  “Yes,” she soon was nodding, the ease of moving her wings without will was effortless, as if she were born knowing.  She had only forgotten.