The Key

Here’s that key you were looking for,
the one for love, security and more.
You can stop looking for it on the floor;
it’s right here where you left it in the Door.

Oh!  The Door- you’d completely forgotten about that,
the one leading Home where you’d hang up your hat
and visit with loved ones and pet your sweet cat,

And smell the roses in the bouquet
that your wife had just gathered earlier today
from your yard that is full of blossoms and birds
and spiders and veggies and herbs and worms.

You take in a deep breath and release it quite slowly.
In this Kingdom of Home, no one is lowly.

The kids love their Ma and their Pa and each other,
No squabbles break out between sister and brother.

Your cats and your dogs, they get along too;
No biting, no hissing, no rolling in poo.

Dinner’s always tasty, because it’s always made with love
from the fruits of our labor and the sunshine from above.

Dreams are always dreamy, built from the stories that we share
of love and hope and prayers and play and of becoming aware
that though there is a worldly place, of misery, despair,
here at Home we’re safe from harm, because all we do is care

For each other and our creatures and our guests that come to play.
For once you visit, once you know, you’ll always want to stay
where peace and love and harmony all coincide each day.

And guests you’ll see, you’ll soon see my dears, as this is your Home, too;
that the keys you left in the Doors you forgot, they work for every room!

So now that you see that we all have the key to go to all of the places,
to open any door, to open any heart, to put smiles on all of the faces,

Take care to keep it close to your heart and you’ll see the power it holds,
for keys of this sort can unlock certain doors you’ve yet to be shown or told.

The Curiosity of Asheville, NC

The Appalachian Mountains are an ancient sanctuary to a wide spectrum of life. 

Nestled deeply within the motherly embrace of Western North Carolina's Appalachian Mountains, is the particularly diverse and welcoming community of Asheville.

What draws people from different places in the world, from different times in their life cycle, to WNC?

What calls people to visit these beautiful mountains, experience our unique community and then move here?

What is it that makes Western North Carolina such a sacred, diverse and creative place that so many different people want to call it Home?
It is the proven safety culturing inherently diverse beauty that Appalachia supports.

The Appalachian Mountains are the oldest mountains in the world. Changes over time have rounded and softened our peaks, compressed rock and minerals over millennium into a myriad of beautiful gemstones, and have consistently provided the oldest sanctuary for life when the world gets harsh.  With the wide difference of topography creating miniature eco-systems, we harbor a plethora of flora whose variance rivals any other place on Earth.  Though tempest storms may ravage neighboring lands, the peaks and valleys of our mountains break up tornadoes, hurricanes and other maelstroms that happen to blow our way.

Our ancient mountains have provided a safe haven for many thousands of years.  These proven guards continue to support a diversity of life in our community.  Because of this, we may also feel safe enough to nurture ourselves, to embrace and play with the creative spark within, and to seek to evolve our spirit.

When you find yourself in Asheville, NC, take advantage of the security that is provided for you.  Leap into the life you are offered: adventure outside,  inquire within.  Reach out and stretch yourself- take that leap of faith. We offer the network of support that will help you actualize the best possible version of yourself!

Who Teaches Us More- Our Parents or Our Children?

Childhood Reflections in Parenting

Children are a joy, an open invitation to sharing the delights of now and a door connecting us to simpler pleasures.

The relationship between child and parent is one of the most intimate experiences we will ever have.  We are called to reveal vulnerabilities.  This is our strength and boon.

One of the very first things my daughter taught me was that she was paying close attention to me.

Often when she was a baby, I would hold her close to me and dance while playing music.  When she was tired it would simply be her held against me resting her head on my shoulder, my hand on her back, patting and gently rubbing as we swayed.  It was soothing, nice, comforting.

Then one day, I noticed that my infant daughter was patting my back, too.  Wait a minute.....?!?  She was patting my back?  Holy cannoli - she was communicating loving me back!   Soooo sweet, awww, such lovingness- I was all gooshy of course, until I got a big, fat ole smack of sobering reality: She mimicked my method exactly.  I had better be darned sure that I modeled things consciously and well for this new relationship I'd signed up being responsible for rearing.

And then, something else occurs to me- perhaps she had been communicating love to me even before I noticed.  Perhaps she had done something with saliva and bubbles and that was her actual first attempt at extending her love to me.  I just didn't understand enough to see it and acknowledge it for what it was.

Two bits of parenting wisdom gleaned from this:

Your child is paying attention to everything you do.  

What am I teaching her when I react to something without thinking about it first?  If I make up an excuse instead of being accountable, what does that teach her is acceptable? What gift do I offer her when I tell her what to think rather than asking her what she thinks?  If I am distracted when someone is talking to me, what is that teaching her about respect?

Are you paying attention to everything your child does, too?  

Do I notice how she reacts to things?  Do I know what is important to her?  Can I figure out why she's quiet or stubborn or obtuse or loud or caustic or distracted or distracting?  Can I acknowledge what truly brings her happiness?  Can I recognize what she is putting out there?  Do I know when she is asking for help, or letting me know she cares? 

Parenting and being a kid is not for the weary of heart.  It takes stamina and conscious loving thought for both people in the relationship to thrive. 

So give yourself a break; give your kid a hug. 
You get what you put out there, so put out lots of love.

Gifts: The Gifts That Keep On Giving

We are each of us dynamically gifted.  No one says they are solely defined by one thing.  We are comprised of more than what we do as a career, or a hobby, or whom we love, or where we spend our time.  It is through these experiences that we discover our myriad gifts.  

We find that through extending ourselves, we may be good at telling stories, or managing agendas, or singing in harmony.  When we place ourselves in different dynamic circumstances, it stretches and strengthens us by giving us opportunities we would not otherwise have alone.

Being in a group of friends, family and other allies allows us to explore development of ourselves in a safe, trusted atmosphere.  When you surround yourself with people who love you, people you trust, you are freer from you inhibitions to attempt new responsibilities and discover new talents that you are tempted to try.  You know you will be supported by love.  

According yourself with people you love and trust also allows them the opportunity to grow and evolve new and wonderful talents.  As your circle of friends and allies grow, the intensity, depth and dynamic that you enjoy learning about and with others enables you to learn more about yourself.

When there is love, there is no jealousy, no resentment and no competition.  All is shared in harmony and with joy.  What gifts you have you happily give to your friends and family.  Giving with love may come from seeing an opportunity and need to give, hearing a request from another or simply knowing that you just want to express yourself and share it with someone.  Whatever the case may be, when you give with love, there is no expectation for anything in return.  The joy is in the giving.

Likewise, what gifts your loved ones have they joyously give to you.  Their gifts are now yours.  Take time to really consider this: Their gifts are now yours.  

Would you hesitate to give your friend a hand if they asked? 

Would you balk at the thought of helping your child, mate or parent with … anything?

Neither should you be fearful of offering the opportunity for someone you love to give it to you.  When you make a request of someone, you are affording them the chance to shower you with their love.

⁷ Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:

⁸ For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.   Matthew 7:7-8

So go- share your gifts abundantly and with joy.  Find places to extend your love.  Love is the only investment that has absolutely no diminishing returns and will always only increase in value.

The Paralyzing Motivator of Guilt's Paradox

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. ² For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." Matthew 7:1-2

You make a mistake.  It happens.  That's easily let go.  Everyone makes mistakes, right?

You make a big mistake.  You make a mistake so big that it deeply hurts your heart.  Guilt sets in.  The pain you feel you have caused others is profoundly reflected and amplified deep down inside of you.  You feel bad, and assume you must be bad.  This is hard to swallow.  No one wants to feel this way or claim this as their identity.  And yet, we do.  Sometimes there is so much guilt accrued that who you really are and how you really want to be perceived gets buried, denied and ignored.

Unchecked, guilt festers and grows like a venomous villain, an evil twin inside of you that barks your worthlessness.

How do you respond to the constant condemnation, the barrage of belittlement and the streaming, screaming critiques of yourself?

Displacement of Guilt

Easily enough you can simply shift the blame of guilt and shame to someone else.  Who wants to own up to being unworthy when there are plenty of other people who have made even more mistakes, or worse ones?

³ “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? ⁴ How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? ⁵ You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye."  Matthew 7:3-5

When you point out others' weaknesses, it is a true reflection in how you perceive yourself and your own imperfections. Instead, find only what good you can in others and point that out with joy. This is healing for you both as it promotes love and equality.  This releases you and others from the past paralyzing perception of what you are not now.  For what is in the past shall never be in the present unless you bring it here with you. 

Guilt-Inspired Works

Another option you may choose is to "right the wrong"and thereby start diligently working to atone for yourself by being as nice and as giving as you can.  Bad karma can be replaced by good karma, right?  How can anyone be mad or think we're evil if we are always doing the very best we can, working for the betterment of others in lieu of ourselves?  Can't they see how hard we're trying?  Can't they see how good we really are?

You give your very best, at the expense of yourself even, in effort to please others, so that you might feel worthy again.

But somehow, it's still not right.  You still feel guilty, you still feel unworthy, and even though you give to the best of your ability, you constantly feel drained, under appreciated, undervalued, derailed and depressed.

Reflect for a moment what you're really putting out there. By miming altruism for absolution, you are projecting and telling the world (and yourself): "I'm guilty; this is my punishment; I'm enduring it so that I can feel better about myself because right now I feel like an ass."

When you do not value yourself, neither will others value you.  When you do not value others, neither do you value yourself.  This is what it means to be All One.

Mistakes of the heart can be much harder to release; it takes some effort to recognize, but you can forgive yourself and so will others.  Remember this: You are beautiful and perfect, right now, in the present reality.  Once you claim this knowledge and are no longer shackled by delusions, you are free to let joy back into your heart and share it truly with others.