The Jealous Crow Chapter 3

The dawn would be too quick in coming.  During these final hours together, Seneca and her mother spent these moments in quiet reflection.  Rare words were exchanged, but when spoken were thoughtful and loving.  Her mother quickly put together a bag with provisions for her physical nourishment: a few red apples, a handful of dried figs and another of dried almonds, a slender jar of olives, an alternate set of clothing and a few trinkets of memorabilia she hoped would bring her daughter some emotional comfort.  Neither of them knew what Seneca would face on this immediately pending, forced journey.

The old crone simply continued to rock back and forth, humming an oddly familiar tune.  The melody was simple, compelling and hauntingly beautiful.  She recognized it, but could not place how or why.  Was it from a dream?  It was as if she were caught in the circle of time, the repeating notes of the meandering melody and the eerie rhythmic creaks of the rocking chair plucked at the strings of her memories.  The maid closed her eyes, wondering how the old woman knew this tune and why it chilled her very soul to hear it.

Seneca could feel herself altering further as daybreak approached.  Her mind was sharply attuned, but her body felt much lighter; sounds, colors and scents were losing their richness.  Her mother’s voice became fainter and the outline of her form became fuzzy.  Seneca rose quickly from her place by the fire to go and embrace the mother of her childhood.  As she approached, arms and eyes wide open, the world she knew faded completely into mist.  Nothing remained but the old woman and the sound of her low graveled laughter.

Seneca drew in a deep breath and surveyed her surroundings.  There was nothing, truly.  Mystified, she turned all the way around, dark eyes drinking naught but milk-colored mist.  She viewed no discernible form aside from her own body and the dark mass of the old woman.  Nothing else could she see in the white thicket of fog.  

“Well now,” Seneca stated evenly and turned to face the crone.  “What do we have here?”  The young woman’s eyes seized the other's gaze and held it there with quiet, unassuming authority.  “Tell me what you know.”  The sound of her voice was muffled by the heavy tomb of cloying mist surrounding them, a strained string of sound stretching to be caught by fog-cottoned ears.

The old woman's body clenched tightly and she started to shake.  A few attempts were made to cough.  After she had finished her bout of gritty laughter, she stated evenly, “I know many things.”  Sipsis cocked her head with amused annoyance, dark shadows dancing in the hollows behind the green orbs of her eyes.   “What would you like to know first, milady,” she asked, her brittle voice licked with filmy cynicism.  Thin lips curled around grey-stained teeth as she regarded Seneca with wayward reflection.

With a dose of ire, Seneca sucked in a sharp breath, held the shock of cold moisture fully in her lungs then slowly released it to mingle with the mist.  Droplets of dew coalesced and clung to the long, loose strands of her black hair, beaded her brows, laid claim upon her body entirely.  Luminescent hands smoothed down the front paneling of pleats at her waist, the willowy fabric of her dress clinging to her form with its heavy embrace.  Her vision was clouded, her skin wetted with blankets of shifting mists, but her mind was undampened and her will was unwashed.  She would know fully of her circumstance and stepped a pace to close the distance between them.

She implored of the crone, “What is this place?  Who are you?  Why am I here? What happens next?”  As the unnerving initial shock of her present situation started to subside, the rush of questions began to bubble and boil, a torrent of tumbling force.

The old crow-woman sneered and lifted an arm to broadly sweep the area of mist, “This is the Ethereal Plane, milady.  The world you knew is separate from this place.”  Her voice creaked with age as she continued, “I am called Sipsis, and now, because of that curse you’re wearing around your neck,” the crone lifted a long bent finger and pointed with her haggard sharp nail to the willow-tree pendant, “I am bound to you.”

Somehow Seneca had known this about their relationship; something had indeed altered both of them during the transformation.  Sipsis had become her thrall.  The realization disgruntled her.  This was a true curse indeed.

The old woman continued, “You’re here because the Fates have deemed it, dearie.”  The crone cackled morosely, “Just as They have deemed me serve it with you.”  So it was true, then.  Both of them were trapped here in this foggy reality where nothing else seemed to exist.  Quietly absorbing these pieces of information, Seneca allowed the hag to continue in answering her last question.

Nothing had prepared her for what happened next.  

 “Follow me,” Sipsis creaked with a sickening twist.  There was a flush of dark feathers and the old woman was once again a green-eyed crow.  The ebon bird squawked and started to fly off into the mist.  Blinking in disbelief, Seneca hurried to catch up to the large, flying crow.  In her haste, somewhere in the midst of the mist, she left the bag of provisions her mother had given to her.

Ruefully, Seneca lost sight of the crow.  It was too easy to lose track of anything not more than two feet nearby in these cloudy conditions.  The young woman stalled her pace and cursed her bad luck.  Not wishing to disorient herself further, she stood still to get her bearings.  While she looked around the foggy terrain, she became increasingly alarmed at the vast nothingness that she perceived.  She strained her ears to hear the flapping of dark wings or a call from the crow to give her a sense of direction, a sense of hope in this dense white-scape.  

Nothing.  That’s what came to her, and that’s what she was in right now.  Hearing nothing, seeing nothing, even noting no discernible scent, she started to walk purposefully straight ahead.  She was bound to find something if she kept moving in one direction.  Sipsis went somewhere, didn’t she?  Blasted bird.  What good was a servant if they left you?  Suddenly, she stopped straight in her tracks with the realization.

“Sipsis, come here,” she said clearly and a bit more loudly than necessary.  The rook was soon flying in large circles above her head.  It was to her relief to spot that fowl bird, troublesome as she may be.

In a fit of dark hurried flurry, the crow swooped past Seneca's shoulder and emitted a shrieking "Caw!" near her head.  Another, closer sweeping pass of the bird lifted the young woman's hair, the current of force carrying the crow's piercing call right to her ear. "Fly!" called the crow and then flew up and away into the sky-sea of mist once again.

Though Seneca was ready to keep her sight locked on Sipsis when she spotted her, she was not ready for that piece of advice.  “Fly?” she murmured to herself in surprise.  “I can…” it was spoken in question more than stated as she fully extended her ebony wings for the first time.  “Yes,” she soon was nodding, the ease of moving her wings without will was effortless, as if she were born knowing.  She had only forgotten.

Walking Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death

No one said life is going to be easy.  We’ve each experienced times of prosperous peace and tranquility as well as upset, darkness and dangerous disorientation.

We look to the words of experience, to history, to mythology, to stories we’ve been told to help us better understand why we feel the way we do, why we must undergo challenges, if we’re the only ones experiencing it and what we can expect and do about it.  During times of fear we often seek solace and guidance in scripture, calling to our mind those words which can give us the solidity of grounding our faith through the Promises we find therein.

The 23^rd Psalm of David is one example that many people throughout time have summoned in their despair and have used for comfort and hope.  

1 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

This short song outlines the journey we go through as humanity, mirrored on a more intimate level also in the story of Job.

Throughout the verses of the psalm, there is always reverence for and implicit trust in our Creator.  We are taken to green pastures and still waters, our souls are restored by Him and we walk in righteousness alongside He Who guides and shepherds us.  We live our lives well, contentedly meandering with God through a pastoral existence.  We’re safe, content and taken care of.  Life’s good!

As well it is in the beginning of the story of Job; life was going along swimmingly.  He was blameless and walked with God, a righteous man blessed with an abundance of children, land and livestock.  Life was good for Job.  Until it wasn’t…  Like all of us, Job hit some gruesome hard times.  He not only lost all of his worldly possessions (his animals, his land AND his children), he also came down with some painful and obnoxious physical ailments.  Everything he had was physically taken away from him.  I’ll bet he was in some grave financial trouble, too.

Each of us have found ourselves walking in the Valley of the Shadow of Death.  We start to lose in life- lose our possessions, we stumble and lose our footing and what we thought was secure in our lives is taken away.  We’re snagged by thorns of set-backs, pelted by harsh, cold and worrisome words, we’re spun by emotional eddies until we’re dizzy with confusion, we’re picked up and turned about by the winds of life’s upheavals.  This darkness imposes from all sides around us: mountains of uncertainty, causing us to fear as we traipse through this shadowy valley.   

When Job was going through the maelstrom of his life’s darkest times, his friends came to him, cried with him, they ripped their clothes in anguish with him.  They begged Job to curse God and die.  But Job did not.  He knew God was still with him during the darkest, most challenging times of his life.

Even through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, God promises to stay with us.  We are not left alone, but it’s awfully hard to see that when we’re in the dark.  We cry out and cannot hear.  We try to look with our eyes and cannot see.  This is the shadowy veil that humanity (individually and as a whole) passes through.  It is during this time that our Faith is tested, for remember, God has made two promises in his holy relationship with us: He will not control us; He will not abandon us.

In both the 23^rd Psalm and the story of Job, there is a rainbow at the end of the rainy period.  Not only do we survive this abysmal path of darkness, upheaval and seeming injustice, we are given something even greater than what we experienced before.  Job was given was MORE land and MORE livestock and MORE kids.  David sings to us in his poem that after moving through the Valley of the Shadow of Death we are given all kinds of extra goodies - including goodness and mercy all the rest of the days of our lives and the promise to live in the resplendence of God’s own holy house.

You may wonder then, as many people have and do, what kind of gifts are we talking about here?  What can we hope for after we weather the dark and stormy night?  When do we know that we’ve passed through and made it?  Are we talking banquet tables, more dogs and cats and kids?  Fancy oils?  What do we get from this rite of passage?

It is important to remember that the overflow of God’s abundance will come in the form of spiritual gifts.  (We are talking about God, after all.)  Think now of what might you gain after going through absolute hell in your life and making it through to the promised rainbow of abundance at the other end.

Strength, conviction, confidence, courage, empathy, appreciation, profound wisdom- all of these riches you can rightfully claim after undergoing and surpassing with victory the vast tumbles of life.

Yes, sure, you can use these spiritual gifts to rebuild your physical wealth, but it will also allow you to build SO much more than that.  With your greater understanding, you will create amazing things.  

Your relationships will be built with empathy rather than egoism.  Trust will be restored in self, in others.  You will feel freer to explore and expand, evolve and involve yourself, because you know you can weather whatever comes your way.  You know that even if all of your creature comforts, your physical joys are taken from you, that you can rise up again like a phoenix from the ashes and reclaim yourself, stronger and braver and wiser than before, and even more than this, to now offer your exquisite journey and its beautiful hope to all those who are struggling and are looking for a hand to hold while they are in the dark valleys of life. 

Perception is Reality- How to Ride the Avalanches of Life

Studying sociology we understood that results of a survey or study is swayed by our methodology of gathering information (how we ask questions, who and what we target in the study, etc).  We have a tendency to come up with a concept and then seek for grounding support in fact and example.  You can easily see this in pharmaceutical studies that wish to sell you a new prescription for example.  It is how all of us view the world- what we wish to see, we shall see.   Patterns will come up to prove again and again the theory that we have held in our minds, because we want it to be true and are attuned to finding that which shall support it.  In this regard, we manifest our own reality by how we perceive things.  

Two people may experience the very same situation, let’s say a car wreck or a fight with someone you care about.  One person comes from the experience troubled and broken hearted- their car is destroyed, their relationship is destroyed, and they feel destroyed.  The other person comes from the experience with thankfulness and appreciation.  Instead of worrying about their car (or the issue of contention in the argument) and the money and/or energy that it would take to right all wrongs, they checked to make sure the other person involved was alright.  They extended themselves to the other person with kindness and discovered one of two things: the other person involved in the accident or argument either responds with fear, like a caged animal ready to bark and bite or hide away, or the other person opens themselves more vulnerably as well, connecting their relationship with you on a more intimate level.  When one looks upon another with kindness and sees suffering, it is easy to want to help settle the situation calmly and with love.  When one looks upon another with kindness and sees vulnerability, it is easy to want to help settle the situation calmly and with love.

In the first situation when you look upon the occurrence as horrible fortune, all of your focus will find fault in the event.  You will pick apart each instance and fret and worry and complain about it- how much it will cost, how your schedule got all screwed up, and all the ramifications.  Everything will be tainted with the taste of bitterness throughout your day, perhaps your week, and you will not only poison yourself with this negativity, but I daresay you will taint all those with whom you encounter while you’re in this funky perception.

Are you drowning or rising?

In the second situation, when you remain open and do not immediately resort to fear and negativity, you can start to perceive your situation on a completely different level.  It suddenly becomes clearer when you distance yourself from the ‘victim’ mentality.  “Why did this happen?  This is your fault!” and all of those horrible voices that scream such vile loathsomeness on self and others, cause us such a sense of dissension, separation, loneliness and despair.  With care you respond to the situation, knowing that the calm you bring will help calm the others involved and provide a baseline of sanity.  You are able to look at things without becoming enmeshed by the tangles of irrational reactionary responses, patterns we’ve seen others exhibit and those we’ve adopted ourselves, and instead consider things more rationally.  Malice from perceived injustice will blind you from truth, for it is not what you wish to see.  Release that, and you will find clarity.

Now, when you start to loosen your worry and fear when troublesome bumps occur in life, you will start to notice more occurrences of synchronicity that start to play in your life.  Pay Attention!!!  You remember all those people you have been nice to and have treated with kindness?  Well, they’ve been affected by this.  They’ve gone and done some kindness to others too, because they feel good and want to share it, just like you did and reminded them how we can respond to emotional situations.  Sometimes this kindness comes right back around to you and you can see it, and sometimes it comes back to you and you don’t even see the connection.   But know that it does, for everything you do makes a ripple.  Be certain of this. What ripple will you be making today?

If you do one mindful practice today, employ this awareness:
Notice how you react to things: Is it with fear or with love?

Fear lashes out.  Love opens up.

Fear hides away.  Love presents herself fully.

Fear seeks to divide. Love seeks to unite.

Fear hates itself and tries to make excuses and lay blame.  There is a feeling of unbalance, injustice; resentment, depression and assorted flavors of isolation may develop.  Trust is broken.

Love uses confidence and inner strength to see things with clarity and wisdom.  Truth is found.  Security is resolved.  Relationships are made deeper with trust.

What reality do you want to perpetuate for yourself?  Be conscious of how you move in the world, for it is by your own path that you make your own destiny.